Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Year's Biggest Jerks

In no particular order, here's my list of the Ten Biggest Jerks of 2008:
Eliot Spitzer - Yeah, I'm all-powerful, all-knowing and always right. I can get away with anything -- anything!
Joe Biden - I knew if I stayed around long enough something like this would just fall into my lap. Gosh, this is great. Now I can say whatever I want and mean it!
Rob Blagojevich - F- - k them all! F - - k all those M- - - - -F - - - - rs!
Chris Matthews - It all started with a tingle up my leg!
Jesse Jackson - Obama? I think we oughta cut his b - - - s off!
Alan Greenspan - Turns out I wasn't so right after all. Oh well, never mind!
Jon Corzine - I'm a real financial genius. I can run this state into the ground!
Bill Maher - There is no God. And, I know this because I'm a great thinker and a great artist. In fact, I made a movie this year that no one came to see.
Phil Gramm - This is just a "mental recession" and America is a "nation of whiners."
Bill Richardson - Hey, amigo! You're not my amigo anymore. Doesn't matter what you did for me. I've got a new amigo. His name is Obama and he can do a lot more for me. Hasta la vista, baby!

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